Over the years I have become more transparent in my conversations. I believe in speaking truth and not being afraid to tell all if needed. For instance, I haven’t written a blog in while. I have had immense writer’s block. I have all these topics to talk about but the words won’t type. I have also done a 46 day consecration to Mother Mary and wrapping up a 33 day consecration to St. Joseph. I feel like that has taken my concentration away from writing, but for a good reason!
During these consecrations, I have organized groups and we meditate on the daily readings. Think small group bible study, with open discussion for what you thought or felt during the reading. Almost every time I read the daily meditation, it reminded me of a time in my life. Maybe a good time, maybe a bad time, but a memory came about. For some, the idea of sharing that memory to others is preposterous. The vulnerability, the potential judgement, the lack of understanding from others triggers a conscious thought of shutting down and remaining silent.
I can see how easily it would be to have the “shut down” thought. For some it is something they grew up with. Growing up, I was taught to “sweep things or feelings under the rug.” It wasn’t common to talk about your feelings, your hurt, or your pain. I’m not sure why this was. Maybe my parents didn’t feel equipped to listen, or maybe there was some hurt within them that needed healing first. Either way, when someone asked “Hey how are you!?” You were taught to respond, “I’m fine.” Even if you weren’t. That mentality was not just in my childhood home, but many of yours as well. If we don’t learn to be okay with being transparent, we will never break that generational curse.
During these consecrations, I felt like at times I had “vomit of the mouth.” I just couldn’t help myself from sharing my memory or my thought on the topic. After much consideration and feeling like I was “oversharing,” I realized I’m just being transparent. You want to know something about my life? Just ask. I don’t have secrets. I’ll tell you the good, the bad and and the ugly. You know why? Because that’s what Jesus wants. He wants us to be good listeners as well as being truthful shepherds. Our trials, tribulations, and faith journey can help others. It can show them that through the hard times, there can be good times. That through talking about hurt, you begin to heal.
My mind always goes back to the story of the woman at the well. We look at chapter 4 of the Gospel of John. Jesus was traveling to Galilee and sat down at a well in the town of Sychar. A woman came up to the well and Jesus asked her for a drink of water. As simple as that sounds, it wasn’t socially acceptable for Jesus, a Jew, and this woman, a Samaritan, to conversate. After a couple of questions, she points out to Jesus that he doesn’t have cup to drink from. Was the woman being sarcastic? Who knows really. But I can see myself, years ago, being that way. In a shut off tone I could see myself saying “Well how are you going to drink without a cup? Didn’t you think about that before you sat at the well?” I think about past experiences, were there times I shut down Jesus? Could that certain experience been a time he was showing up for me and I shut him off, shut him away with a sarcastic response?
The woman began to talk to Jesus, specifically about religious matters. The woman, who had been married five times and was not currently married to the man she was with, sat there and talked to Jesus. She was being transparent. She already knew that Jesus knew about her situation, and she could have remained silent, fear of embarrassment, fear of being judged or ridiculed. But she didn’t. She spoke. To Jesus. And He listened. Part of the transparency is being a good listener. What happens next is incredible:
“Woman,” Jesus replied, “believe me, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth” (v. 21-24).
The woman believed. The woman immediately ran off to tell others. Jesus’s conversation with the woman made her a believer! He said his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and IN TRUTH. How many times could we have been shepherds, had we just told the truth? Had we experienced maybe the humility of a certain situation to find the blessing from it? Have we been like Jesus and sat and listened to someone?
We have all been the woman at the well. We have all had a past that maybe Jesus wouldn’t be proud of, or an experience that wasn’t “Jesus worthy.” Should that stop us from talking? Should that stop us from listening? Through the hard times, through our hurt, through speaking about these experiences comes healing. After all, Jesus loves you, just like the woman at the well. Start being transparent. Start being truthful about what is going on in your life, even if doesn’t match what you see on social media or television. Through our honesty, we can create a great sturdy path for our faith journey. The first step is truth.
Hugs and Loves,
Ali
“God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in Spirit and in truth.” John 4:24
