My threenager turned four last week and it has made me sit back and reflect on a lot of things going on in my head. First one is that I need to come up with another witty name for her since she has increased in age. LOL. Anyhoo, as places of businesses begin to open back up as we continue through the phases of Covid 19 Quarantine, I can’t help but reminiscence about the older version of myself. No, not the version that has gotten older in age, the person I used to be, another season of life ago.
Topic of the Day: Growth
I remember being fresh out of college and living life on the edge. Well for me it was on the edge! Staying up late, drinking at bars with friends, neglecting any housework or ounce of adult responsibility until my next day off from working at the casino in Marketing, which always fell during the week. I would get excited to see the end of my work day because I had such a packed social calendar. Me, just me, no kids or spouse, me. As bars start to open up, I can remember how I might have reacted to this news in a different part of my life. I would be excited, hell I would ecstatic. When the casinos opened, I would’ve been gracious, thankful for the job and yet another avenue to extend my nightlife. Boy how things have changed.
This season, the one I feel most at peace with, the one I feel like I belong to is different. I am excited about churches increasing the occupancy. I am excited that I can participate in our upcoming ACTS retreat and that we didn’t have to cancel it. I am excited that my husband has been able to now continue to meet with his ACTS brothers and continue their bond that we all desperately have longed for and needed during these times. I am thankful to see my 4 year old’s Mother’s Day Out program start up again and see the smile on her face. I am happy to see my step children get to see their friends and officially start “summer.”
In past seasons, I would have reacted differently to what is going on in the world. Now, I embrace the season I am in, and have open arms knowing that I can withstand anything that life throws at me. I make decisions not just with me in mind, but with my spouse and children in mind.
It’s so funny how I look back at Facebook memories or Timehop and see years past of what I was doing and who I was spending my time with. Some pictures I cringe to look at. That person that I was, that I’m not now. Someone I wasn’t proud of and someone I wasn’t happy to be. Sure, I had successes and credentials and the college degree to back it up. Basically I looked good on paper. But when you truly look at someone, no not on paper, truly look into their soul, that’s where you find the person they are and have become.
I’ve learned this lesson with friends. If you’ve read my blogs you know I’ve spoken about this topic before. I am amazed at who God puts in your life and at the right time. I’ve sat and learned more about myself based on how my friends or so I thought make me feel. I know there are certain people who make me feel uneasy and nervous. Some friends make me impatient and angry. Once I’ve started listening to my emotions I’ve been better able to channel the good from the bad. I’ve met some amazing people over the years and even as soon as last weekend. The smile and ease of the conversation proves the warmth and judge free zone that people bring to the table. I know God is making changes in me, he is allowing me time to realize the important things in life. The ones that are truly important. As I sat in church yesterday, all I could keep thinking was “Thank you.” Thank you for always being with me, God. Thank you for showing me this path. Thank you for my family’s health. Thank you for my friends. Thank you for my church family and our ACTS family. I am truly so blessed even in the uneasy times we are facing as a nation. To know God, to truly know Him, is the greatest blessing you’ll ever receive. Take time, look into your soul, self reflect on your past and get in a place to have an amazing future. You deserve it. This world deserves it. Being the best version of yourself is an amazing accomplishment. God will guide you along the way.
Hugs and Loves,
Ali
“Be strong and steadfast; have no fear or dread of them, for it is the LORD, your God, who marches with you; he will never fail you or forsake you” Deuteronomy 31:6
