As some of you may know, I am currently on “Stay at Home Mom Status.” Since I’ve been home I’ve decided to be more of a “homemaker.” So- I am watching this popular food channel with the oh so popular woman who is a pioneer and lives on a ranch make these oh so yummy looking chocolate cookies dipped in white chocolate with crushed candy canes. I am thinking: “Hey I could totally do that!” I know I have all of the ingredients except cocoa powder so I venture off the the grocery store the next morning to purchase the cocoa powder that ended up costing $153….
Anyhoo! I make the cookies and I read the reviews that some people thought they weren’t sweet enough and suggested dipping the entire top of the cookie in the white chocolate instead of half. I thought that was a great idea anyway and do that and top with colored sugar and present them on a Christmas plate and await for the taste testers to get home. I did taste one-that dropped on the floor- and I thought it was good! They arrive home and the threenager immediately grabs one because she loves anything with sugar and spits it out and tells me I can have the rest. Well you know 3 year olds don’t share very well so this wasn’t a good sign. The 14 year old ate all of hers, I think in a more polite fashion. The hubby ate all of his and flat out said “that was nasty” Insert HUGH SIGH.
I was so proud of these damn cookies. Like I didn’t even “break and bake” them. I mixed a dough and everything. My family wasn’t impressed and they truly showed it. Of course in true “I haven’t had social interaction in awhile fashion” I get upset and proceed to get my feelings hurt. Looking back I can laugh that maybe it wasn’t my best dish, but at the time I thought I was going to have my own baking show! In hindsight, the hubby realized his words weren’t carefully selected and of course I am not mad at him, but I’ve have been thinking about this topic for awhile and felt this “cookie incident” was a great way to start talking about it.
Topic of the day: Empowerment
I struggle with this topic because I admit I haven’t always been the empowering type. I have been a “Negative Nancy” before and it made me a person I thought was great, and fun and cool, but in hindsight I was just a hot mess of a friend that was just trying to get more friends by being negative about the ones I had. Whew. I have never said that out loud. I was a good friend, to the wrong friends. I sat on patios and porches and restaurant booths and watched and listened to “friends” bashing others, speaking negatively and never once- not ever- stepping up for these people and defending them. I never even thought that I would be the “topic of conversation” when I was absent from these gatherings. I used to be a very naive, try to fit in type of person. Not anymore!
I wish I would’ve had a better relationship with God back then. I wish I would’ve talked to him about those conversations and asked for his help and prayers. Now we can’t live in the past, but we can always make for a better present and future. Here’s how!
Empower others. Empower your children. Empower your spouse. Empower your mind. Most importantly empower your spiritual life. Let’s take a minute to look at these individually:
Empower Others:
Yes, that means other people! You can do this very simply by letting others help you. If you are in a time of need, or if someone asks if you need help. Don’t worry about pride-swallow that and say “Yes I need help!” Empower others when they try to show you their abilities. Now if that person helps you let’s say by picking up a gallon of milk on their way home, do not complain if it isn’t the brand you normally purchase. Empowerment builds confidence. Surround yourself with others who have this confidence.
Empower Your Children: I think this is the hardest one personally. Yes that means to say “Yes!” more. I know it will take an extra 30 minutes to get dressed because the threenager wants to dress herself. Let her! She is building the confidence she needs to grow up to be a strong woman. Your kids ask to help in the kitchen? YES! Your 16 year old wants to drive and get practice? YES! Have your older children plan and execute a meal for the family. Add responsibilities you wouldn’t normally give them. Don’t you want your children to be prepared and feel confident as they continue to grow and make decisions? YES!
Empower Your Spouse: Okay maybe this is hard too. I am a “I can just do it myself” type of person. Acting this way will not empower your spouse. You need to let this person share responsibilities. Not just the household responsibilities, i’m talking mental and emotional responsibilities. Simply saying “What do you think?” Or actually taking their advice when you ask. Show your spouse that you value not only them but their mind too. Talk about a struggle you are having, maybe you are feeling emotional about the upcoming Christmas festivities. Allow your spouse to help you through this. Let them take the reigns in restoring your mental health. If you let them “take control” you might be surprised at how their confidence increases.
Empower Your Mind: Ladies this means you for sure. We are always in our own heads. Constantly reliving that moment of what we could’ve said different or what we wore and how it looked that night. STOP! Be confident in your decisions. Read material that is uplifting. Listen to music that puts you in a good mood. Say NO! And say it as often as your mental health needs. If you have to constantly worry about it, or go over it in your mind, then say NO. You are a beautiful person and the people you love and the people you come in contact with need the best version of yourself. That isn’t the overly anxious, constantly worried version-this one I’m talking about is one that is at peace. Someone who has a calm mind and can take on the day in a positive way. This will allow you to pick up on those conversations I talked about earlier. My mind was so defeated, I said yes to everything, I went to cookouts and places I didn’t want to go. I allowed this to consume my mind and clutter my peace, which I needed to think clearly. Now when I say no , I know it is the right decision- not just for my mind but for my family as well.
Empower Your Spiritual Life: One of the easiest ways I’ve done this is by listening to certain Catholic or Christian songs. There is something about music that just makes me feel so spiritual and “in the moment.” Go on an ACTS Retreat! Seriously just do it! Read devotionals, read your Bible, pray before meals, pray for others and most importantly-PRAY! Go to mass-like I always say- Yes, every Sunday. Whatever you do, just do something to “up your game” in the spiritual department. I mean Jesus died on the cross- surely there is something you can do to grow closer to God. My favorite thing to do is to talk to others about your faith. That doesn’t mean to start a debate. I find it better to talk to people you know have like-minded values and beliefs. Share spiritual stories, ask questions, learn more about God with a group of people. It is amazing what happens when God is the focus of your life.
If anything just be kind. My mother always said “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.” I now know and understand this and the hurt it can cause when unkind things are said. Stand up for others when you can. Speak in a positive manner. Be confident in your decisions and words. Empower yourself to be the person God intended you to be. Don’t let others get in the way of the path He has laid for you. After all, the only person you have to answer to is the man upstairs.
Hugs and Loves,
Ali
“Be strong and steadfast; have no fear or dread of them, for it is the LORD, your God, who marches with you; he will never fail you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
